When Sober Curious Strikes Past Dry January

Initially of 2025, the previous US Surgeon Common issued an advisory on the hyperlink between alcohol consumption and cancer risk. Whereas this can be a sobering name to motion, there isn’t any denying that sober curiosity has elevated not too long ago. From Dry January to extra manufacturers creating alcohol-free drinks to the rise of mainstream mocktails, now greater than ever even informal drinkers have gotten sober curious and analyzing their relationship with alcohol.

Final yr in Episode 146 of the FBG Podcast, Sobriety Coach, and Founding father of Sober Wild, Krysty Krywko, Ed.D, joined our EIC Alison for an interview on sobriety. At the moment we’re persevering with this dialog with Krysty. Dry January has handed however actually not the questions on what we will do if we’re fascinated by a sober (utterly alcohol free), or damp (a discount in alcohol consumption), life. 

Tam: Ought to we strategy ingesting as all or nothing, particularly if we’re sober curious?

Krysty: I believe it’s a really private choice, however when you’re any sort of a daily drinker (which means three or 4 nights per week “simply to unwind”) then alcohol is impacting the way in which you are feeling – mentally, emotionally, and bodily – your physique simply doesn’t know there’s one other method. In the event you’re not ingesting throughout the week, however then ingesting a few bottles of wine over the weekend, you by no means actually get the prospect to see how your physique and thoughts reacts to no alcohol. Anna Lembke, in her e-book, Dopamine Nation: Finding Balance in the Age of Indulgence, talks about how “abstaining from our drug of alternative for a minimum of 4 weeks offers clarifying behaviors. Perception that merely isn’t doable whereas we proceed to make use of.” In different phrases, you don’t have any thought how shitty you actually really feel while you’re utilizing a substance that’s making you are feeling shitty. It often takes just a few weeks to your physique to regulate to the truth that you’re now not consuming a poisonous substance.

Tam: Are there issues/greatest practices to go from Dry January to extra of a Damp February and past? 

Krysty: So, I don’t actually know the reply to that query, it actually is determined by what your motivation was for Dry January. Was the plan to simply see when you might make it with out ingesting for 30 days? Or have been you in search of actual well being advantages? Or did you understand that your ingesting has elevated over the previous few years and you realize you wanted to take a break?

Moderation, which is admittedly what Damp February is all about, doesn’t work for lots of people. In the event you spend numerous time bargaining with your self each time alcohol is concerned, which ends up in numerous “guidelines” round your ingesting, you would possibly need to take a step again.

You won’t even pay attention to these guidelines. They’ve simply develop into a part of your internal chatter. That chatter would possibly sound like this:
I’m not going to drink on my own.
No ingesting earlier than 5:00 p.m.
No exhausting alcohol throughout the week
I’m solely going to drink white wine (or beer, or vodka, and many others.)
I can’t have greater than two drinks on per week evening.
I can’t drink greater than two nights in a row. 

The top days of my ingesting have been full of elaborate and arcane guidelines that have been continually shifting as I broke one after one other. I used to be letting myself down day by day, and that sort of self-disappointment was like a continuing stream of micro-cuts to my soul.

Take a second and take into consideration why you’re placing so many guidelines round your ingesting. You would possibly simply determine that it’s now not price it.

Tam: If somebody is studying this considering “I wouldn’t have an issue with my alcohol consumption however need to take a extra aware strategy to what I eat/drink,” what questions ought to be explored when fascinated by alcohol consumption? 

Krysty: One of many first issues we have to do is transfer away from the language round ingesting and the assumption that there are “downside drinkers” after which everybody else. This results in disgrace, stigma, and judgement.

A way more helpful, and sensible, mannequin to make use of in terms of speaking about alcohol is the thought of ingesting occurring on a spectrum. That’s the place the thought of “grey space drinker” emerged from, which encompasses everybody from the every-now-and-then drinker to those that are bodily hooked on alcohol. The fantastic thing about this mannequin is that you simply don’t have to hit any type of a all-time low earlier than you may discover your relationship with alcohol, you get to determine at any level on the spectrum what’s best for you.

In the event you’re able to get trustworthy with the function alcohol performs in your life, I might counsel sitting down with a pen and paper and answering the next questions. Get interested in your self, and take the time to reply truthfully. Don’t cloud your responses with disgrace, or judgement, or what your bestie goes to suppose. That is about you and the one life that you’ve got, and whether or not or not you need a poisonous substance to play a job within the creation of that life. 

Is alcohol nonetheless working for me?
How is alcohol making me really feel?
What areas of my life has alcohol taken over?
Does ingesting align with the individual I’m now?
What would “future you” inform “current you” on this state of affairs?

Tam: What if our associates have gone again to ingesting after Dry January, however we are attempting to proceed. Do you might have strategies/suggestions for the right way to make this a part of my way of life with my ingesting associates? 

Krysty: You would possibly want to search out new associates – haha. However, severely, if your pals actually respect and help you within the choices you make in your life, then it shouldn’t be an issue. However, in the event that they’re frequently attempting to push you to start out ingesting once more, whining that you simply’re not enjoyable anymore, or that one shot of tequila gained’t do any hurt, then you definitely would possibly have to rethink who you’re spending time with. You have to work out for your self what you need to do with the time that you’ve got, and the individuals you spend it with. 

Moreover, in case your buddy group is closely immersed in ingesting tradition – which means most social actions revolve round alcohol – then you definitely would possibly want to search out some new peeps that love to do various things.

Tam: Any favourite “drink” hacks to switch that Friday evening cocktail? 

Krysty: I’m probably the most primary sober individual round – and I’m proud of ingesting a seltzer on my sofa to unwind after a busy week. However, I do know that individuals have completely different wants, and I get that within the early days of going alcohol-free you may want one thing a bit extra thrilling. Fortunately, the alcohol-free market is on fireplace! There are such a lot of merchandise in the marketplace – suppose flavored seltzers, glowing teas, alcohol-free beers, wines, and spirits, kombuchas – I actually might go on and on. I’m frequently impressed on the locations the place I discover alcohol-free drinks – Goal, Dealer Joe’s, Entire Meals, common grocery shops, and native alcohol-free bottle retailers are beginning to provide such all kinds. My solely warning is be intentional when utilizing alcohol-free merchandise, particularly issues like alcohol-free wine or beer. In the event you’re downing a bottle of alcohol-free wine most nights of the week, it’s sort of like ripping off one bandage and placing on one other, and also you would possibly need to discover why you’re caught in the identical behaviors. 

Did you do Dry January this yr and keep a dry or damp February? What’s your sober curious hack? ~ Tam